Hey this is Pavan, today's date is March 28, 2021 which otherwise would have been bhogi after holi in India. It's almost 3 years away from home. Last year was a disaster in many ways for many people in the form of pandemic. I took Pfizer vaccine yesterday for Covid and so far everything's good apart from diarrhea which I am easily prone to.
The big change since start of this year is, I am meditating. Though on and off at times but mostly consistent. However meditation also seems like a game, where I feel sometimes happy for being able to attain meditative state and sorry after trying for so long yet wasn't able to attain the meditative state. Whatever may be the result, I seem to like the process. I don't know of the exact reasons why I like but stuck with it even after 3 months says that there is something that i like about it. I will think through it sometime later.
Till Jan 24th, I was playing Dota sometime on and off and gave a gap of more than 2 months when I took meditation little seriously but started playing from a week or so. Something tells me that I have to sort out of my life rather than playing stupid video game, may be that's wiser of me talking to stupid of me yet I can't give up, can I ?.
On professional front, work is manageable and sometimes i feel like i should push myself to learn more but somehow so far I haven't been able to get that motivation that drives me. Past 3 months have been easy on me but I know for a fact that I own my career and I have to push myself. March 17th or 18th I don't remember, I received my first incentive payout of 125% for my 6 month stint at Walmart and that's a pretty good amount of 12k USD, 9.5k after taxes I guess, apart from 12k of stocks i guess. In the month of Feb, I bought a plot ofcourse with the help of dad, which otherwise on my own would have never possible, costed me somewhere 17.5L but i guess it's worth at least 40L as per dad. H1B got filed once more this year and awaiting for the results. I am thankful for people and life for being kind towards me. So far everything worked out but sometimes I wish I never left home.
One thing, I wish that changes this year is that I want to be among people again. Pandemic forced pretty much everyone to stick to homes. Although, there are people from work around and them being so kind and helpful, I somehow don't feel that I am close enough. I miss so much from past that i don't even know where to begin. I hope this year brings that change, I sincerely hope so.
On personal front, I think dad is putting considerable effort to find a match for me. After an year I guess, I lost all the interest to find someone interesting, I don't feel so interested anymore and kind of feeling like whoever, whatever. Sometimes, one must think about things that they are in control of. I know from within that I am a good person and may be not so good enough to take care of other person but sure I am better than most when it narrows down to intent. Some time, at right time, some one, who is meant to be will be part of life eventually and life continues to evolve. I am kind of person who don't over think or feel for situations in life and that kept me happy irrespective of what's happening but the one thing that I know for sure is, I am sentimental, which might prove costly in future. Let's see.
Otherwise, everything is good. May be food also need to be included. God, preparing food you like is herculean task. I am sometimes impressed by the discipline of woman and some men about their meal preparation and cleanliness habits. It takes so much of effort and no joke. I have been ordering food despite the pandemic, not that i like ordered food but it takes so much of effort to be disciplined and cook everyday. This is one of the things, which would have been if it were to be in India, plenty of good choices to order from.
That's all for time being, second dose of Covid is on 04/17. Hopefully I will be fine in mean time.
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